Today a close and wonderful friend of mine got married. Her happiness means so much to me and I am excited to celebrate this important life choice with her and our other friends. As a feminist, marriage brings complications and an inherent challenge to historical traditions that treat woman by their gender. I struggled with the assumptions that such a choice brings and I know my friend has already experiences her own anxieties over the same. bell hooks puts this situation in a great context:
“I still think it’s important for people to have a sharp, ongoing critique of marriage in patriarchal society — because once you marry within a society that remains patriarchal, no matter how alternative you want to be within your unit, there is still a culture outside you that will impose many, many values on you whether you want them to or not. ”
These challenges will continue to plague feminists and non-feminists alike in the future. For my friend, I wish her luck as a feminist and congratulate her on her love. Love knows no bounds and it should be celebrated in all contexts. It takes a courageous person to stand up and announce their desires to those in their life. To take action and face the world for what you believe, care about and find passion in is bold, each and every time you do it.
I am currently finding myself at a crossroad. My own desire to develop myself in new ways is competing with old habits and passions. It is hard to know what is right when you care about so many things. However, at some point, somethings must take priority over others. It is on that note that I must inform my lovely readers that I’m taking a break from In the Margins. I am not sure what will happen for the future of this blog and I welcome feedback(!). I just know that my priority is not here right now as evidenced by my lack of writing in the past couple months. My attitude has shifted and my focus is wandering. I need to take time to refocus my cluttered brain and find what brings me joy!
Just as my friend dares to stand up for her love today and in coming days, I am taking the daunting task of standing up for myself and what I need in this time. The challenge of tomorrow will always come but today, we must do what we feel is right. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You must do the things you think you cannot do” and that is where I’m headed.